Deep within a woman's body is the psyche collective pain body.
In other words, a woman's body holds the stories, happenings and the emotional, physical, mental and the spiritual 'lessons' of the collective conscious. This great pain, is now also our greatest gift into the creation of a new world, and the birthing of a new story - for all of us.
How is this do you ask?
Considering the woman is the Earth (Planet Earth and Woman are the same creation), and as eternal spirits that live in physical bodies, each of us has reincarnated in this life time with the sum of these events, occurrences and 'happenings' of life times before, and as modern women today, we hold more than ever, a deep collective history of wounding to the Feminine (and I don't refer to the Feminine as just a woman) - I mean the essence that is Woman - that is Creation, that is true Beauty.
Woman for centuries has been chastised, castrated and diminished, and not because we were just 'women' - - but because women, in times past, were deeply connected to their greatest gift which provided greater power and beauty: Love.
Now we all know the world Love, but in specific relation to the Feminine principal (with us all having in fact both Masculine and Feminine qualities equally within us), the Feminine qualities of Love encapsulated in the physical (outward) sensual awareness (awareness and joy through all the senses) and though this their innate connection to their deep body grew stronger (the internal world - which is the most important one/the spiritual one - - the 'universe'), which provided presence, grace and strong connection to Self (the knowledge that they were/we are Beings of Love/Light, a.k.a Love of Self).
However as herstory (history) went by, Man, and the destructive domination of the distorted Masculine (the Patriarchy), women were 'seen' to be 'too powerful' because of this true beauty (again, knowledge of the internal Self - that woman is all of Creation and infact God/Goddess which is true universal power/beauty/Love, and because purely Man himself did not have this ability to connect as deep as woman to all of Creation (because he was never born with a Womb - the portal of power - the universal abyss of infinite light, love and creation!), he sought to control this 'awareness' and 'power' with castrating the Feminine and those with womb - Womban - to evil.
Those practices and principals of awareness of true self - like sensual awareness, sensitivity, and receptivity to the internal physical and emotional body/world (the spiritual one!) and the creative playful life-force of love (that is what we call 'sexuality' today) is was what was dismembered and disheveled, within woman.
Specifically, over generations and many centuries and still to this very day and minute, women were (and are) rapped, tortured, victimised, violated, stolen/controlled/owned/sold/bought and manipulated through the sexualisation of their holy temple bodies. Man sought ownership of women's power (her true beauty that is connection to herself through her body) and disconnected Her through that which was most precious: the life centre of creation - her body - and specifically that between her legs: her vagina/yoni and womb...The presuppose of life, of love, of orgasmic birth and death, and the very portal in which is so 'esteemed' and 'revered' by Man - her 'sexuality'... The fact that woman was born with a body capable of extraordinary capacity of life (joy a.k.a pleasure!) and creativity: the ability to create (new) Life. It was tried and still continues to be destroyed...
Through this, woman, and her body (which has always been whole and complete unto herself and up until that point worshiped by infact men through all cultures as God with matriarchal societies prevalent like Egypt for example), was 'created' through false creation a.k.a destruction to be told she was 'less than', 'incomplete' and 'ruined'. She was made to feel, over time, less than, and in particular, that the very part of her body that has the capacity of infinite creation/possibility, love, beauty, joy and pleasure was...wrong, and bad. And that this was something to shame, hide, not see or connect with, and especially, not feel (express or display).
As we fast forward to today - - Woman - - was 'created' - - not to feel.
This is a subject I could write alot about. I have experienced 'this' all my life times including this one - this great pain. And I have now made my 'life's work' not just to write about it, but to feel again, and transmute this, to light.
To become the fully embodied, living, Love.
These words to the universe, my commitment to making my life's work - 'Me'.
This process to true self, is only possible for women, once we connect and begin this treacherous process of connecting - of feeling, 'seeing', inside our bodies.
Listening, if you want to say - to our soul (that which is the eternal soul deep inside, not outside). The soul that is the Holy Temple. The Temple of the Heart: LOVE.
In a culture purely externalized and materialised, we never grew up with an awareness of 'self' - as in, who this self really is, what she is capable of and who can she 'be' beyond what she looks like.
We were never encouraged the questions - -
Who Am I ?
And most importantly:
Who Can I Be?
We have infact been told who to be, how to be it, for who, when and where.
But we are awakening, to another way...
We are Remembering, and now beginning to create a new 'story', combined with this great knowledge of past however not needing to be the story of the present, or the future.
We birth, a new wave.
We are creating, through these connections (me writing to you now), a story of Love: Self (GOD). The greatest story that ever existed :)
And so today as modern women, we sit in the pressupose of this great change. The rise of the Goddess is clearly upon us and that beyond this concept, we are beginning the work into understanding - embodying - to truly feel deep into our bodies - to this Return.
A returning to the Temple.
(And yes I refer to God as a female/feminine force, if you didn't get that already . So when I refer to God, I refer to the Goddess. Which even that name 'Goddess' is a term I'm letting go myself because we are now something greater. He and She = SHE = GOD. Whole and complete unto herself, of both 'aspects' and within this, the 'whole' of creation; where we came from -- Light)
As a woman who has 'suffered' depression, anxiety and body disconnect like eating disorders (which I can only say in short, is based on this collective individual story) - for most of my almost 30 year life, I have spent the last year facing not only the great shadows made manifest from this in my daily life as a result, but through this begin the deep process of uncovering the pain, anger, sadness and too fear, of being a woman of pure breathing, walking talking, dancing, singing, Being of Love, in this modern world.
A process I have been deepening into for some time, however finally feel truly lost - and found - in.
I feel scared, as I know we all are, to open our hearts and stand as Love, in every moment, and in the 'fact' of another to in fact 'see' and be 'seen' as for what we are. For me personally, very scared - with strong destructive 'negative' forces I feel around me physically and also psychically that shade these ways (and I believe do, for all of us - particularly as women).
These fears and forces made 'strong' by years of violence upon us for being this great power (true beauty) - and to today, exacerbated by 'the mind' of an externalized corporate system. But now... right in this very moment - deconstructed by the greatest 'system' that has ever lived: The Eternal Heart.
I have recently overcome (to whatever that word 'means') eating and body disconnect 'dis-orders and 'dis-ease' that plagued me for almost a decade of my adult life. I acknowledge this here fully and openly because I know too, many of us do, which is perpetuated by a world 'designed' to distract us from the internal, and have us living as if we are only beings, that see through out 'eyes'. That we are who we are, based on what we look like.
Ironically, this great suffering is the greatest 'privileged' I - and also you if you suffer the same - as a woman of the developed country, has been given, as opposed to our sisters of other countries, who suffer, far far more.
Mental dis-ease does not even exist in other parts of the world. And I know now that this blessing and greatest gift we have been given as western women - these sufferings with our mind and our bodies - to undo - is for the empowerment of women, worldwide.
If you suffer the same, know that you are now being called, to undo yourself through the power of your own, Beating Heart.
Know that you have been given everything in a physical and spiritual sense, in this life time, the moment you woke up - that you ever needed - to do so.
Realise this, truly.
And so this great disconnect, disharmony and distrust we have with our bodies as women, is the exact reflective we are a collective human globe, have with our Great Mother: EARTH.
We fear the weather, we know no cycle and understanding of the rhythms of life, and we distrust in the knowledge and power of our own bodies and the earth on which we live. We fear and don't understand or use the medicines we have been provided from her - made for us by our God Selves - which are the plants around us, to heal and restore us.
We fear the seasons of weather from great nature Herself and try to control the elements, and go against the flow of the great beauty that is living, life... Now.
All of this - we have exchanged for television, shopping centres and cafe strips. And all the rest.
I am blessed to have been given these gifts of shadow and pain to overcome and birth great love, pleasure and life, for all of existence.
And you, have too.
If you choose to see it, feel it, and uncover it this way. This - through my process - is what I hope to inspire you to do.
I now choose in each moment to create a new story and dream the dream I have since a child: to live in paradise on earth, in harmony with all of Life.
I'm creating a dream of beautiful orgasmic bliss and invite you to join me too. I know you're heart doesn't want to pass this dream up, even though your mind may think it sounds nuts right now ;)
Please really, vision this dream - and walk with me into it. I would love for you to join me.
I believe and know deeply the pain and suffering we feel as women about our bodies and have had inflicted upon, in a world that makes 'our mind' tell us we are not worthy of life because I'm not what I've been told 'beauty' is, that I'm disgusting because I bleed from my sacred temple, that having 'feelings' is irrational and the ability to feel good joyful bliss (orgasm!) throughout my entire body at any moment and while doing any thing I want to do a.k.a in-joying life (and yes, not just during intimacy) is 'wrong', 'weird', 'evil', or 'a slut'. Because it's not.
Is truly living with an OPEN HEART.
All of THIS,
Is the Great Beauty,
Of Living -
FULLY - -
I know the pain deeply we have suffered, for I as Woman/Creation, hold all these stories, happenings and emotional, physical, mental and spiritual lessons of the collective within me and I feel it now, which is the force of love (pain - it's a beautiful thing!) to create and share these words.
I feel it pulsating deep, throbbing full within the walls and the creases of my yoni.
I feel it tight, a throbbing hallow, a bitter pain, a sweet sorrow and a tingle of delight, all at the same time.
This is the collective accumulation of great anger, sadness, sorrow, terror and pain... deep... within us all.
You hold this too, however you may not be aware of it yet.
This only happens with time, and dedication and healing, to your own self and your body, as Woman.
So for me I - I am here - illuminating this spiral: The Process of Remembering.
The veil has lifted, however we must now cast 'eyes' as a collective on this pain before we can see the beauty, while at the same time seeing the beauty and feeling the pain in this. For it is all, One in the same.
We, will get there. Just as the Lily births pristine clean and pure, upon the surface of the water, after a journey through the deep dark of the mud.
We will get there.
The healing of the body-mind is the greatest gift to Humanity. And it is, the greatest priority.
I trust that this - my love (my 'work') - inspires you, as Woman, to see the priority for yourself - and your own mind, and body. For She is calling for you - asking - for you Now.
So within this process of vulnerability opening myself to express this dark-light through the creative expression - in the multitude, multi-face of ways I know I was born to 'shine' - I allow my un-knowledge and ever-unfolding un-knowlege of the internal self to be seen - to be illuminated - to see the Living Light I know I am, and have in fact always know myself to Be.
It's the only thing I have in fact ever known:
And this was something that was never destroyed or taken away, and I am grateful to have this blessings to know this deep within my bones, from all my lives.
I am going Home, and invite you to join me.
I trust that this magical process will inspire your unique soul into it's greatest expression, so that we too (two) May Remember we are Home, Whole and Complete - and that We, Are Love.
In humble service, love and dedication to the betterment of all sentient being-kind.
The eternal light ~ flame of love
~ Ember Spring Jaiah
NB: Originally written April 2016, and altered slightly 2017 for conceptual present context.